Blogger's Guilt

Friday, October 23, 2015

A lot of the time, blogging feels like a competition. You have to go out, get the followers, get the sponsors, get the collaborations, kick ass, and not stop. It's very easy to let it take over your life, spend way too many hours on Instagram, and begin wishing all your friends had their own blogs so that they could begin to understand you when all you want to talk about is follower farming (what I call liking everything you see on Instagram in hopes of building an audience) and misused hashtags. Let's face it, this is my life. This is what I want to do with my life. We all know it isn't easy, but we also all know it is a lot of fun. We get to meet great people, try out great products, and build relationships with stellar companies. On one hand, if we work hard, we get to live the dream. Along with this however, is the insane and overwhelming need to never stop working. Because the more you work, the more you grow. It's that simple. And you're not on a schedule and no on is telling you to take a lunch break. It is you and your camera and your computer (or your phone if you're just on Insta) and you can work until the day you die without taking a break. Because of this, whenever I get sick, or just need some time to stop and rest and recharge and unplug and get the fuck off Instagram, I feel insanely guilty. Will I lose followers? Answer: yes. Should that matter? Answer: no. Will I still care and feel sad about it? Answer: yes. Should my mental health, personal life, and creative process suffer under the ever moving wheel of the blog? Of course not. It still does.

Previously, every time I haven't blogged in a while, I begin my post with something along the lines of, "Hey guys, I'm still alive. So sorry for the long absence. My bad. Blah Blah, I suck, blah." But I'm not going to do that anymore. (At least one person now thinks I'm a stuck up jerk.) The difference between blogging and any other job is that your life is on display. A hopefully beautifully curated, colorful (or not), ever changing, always interesting, hopefully inspiring, display. People want to peek into that perfect pastel window that is your life. They want to see into your completely PNW aesthetic road trips, or eat your genius all-vegan-non-gmo-gluten-free food, or wear your perfectly SF hipster clothing. They want it now, they want it pretty, and they want a witty caption. It is beyond easy to get sucked in. But I've decided that I am more important than that, and that I no longer need to make excuses for my absences. I haven't felt good. I have a right to lay on my couch and marathon Friends with my mom. (Also, I have never seen Friends before, and it is sooo good!) And now, I'm back. In bursts. I have some big news to share with you soon, and more than anything I hope you understand what I've been trying to say, and that you stick around, because this is what I truly love doing, and you guys keep me going, even if I do need breaks from time to time. 






TARGET CARDIGAN :: OLD NAVY DRESS (AS SHIRT) :: H&M SKIRT :: TARGET TIGHTS :: SHOES C/O LOLY IN THE SKY :: COLLAR PINS C/O LINDIE'S PATCH :: MAC LIPGLASS IN DREAMY

Now that all that is out of the way, I have to talk about these gorgeous collar pins, handmade by the beautiful Lindie of Lindie's Patch. When I stumbled across her on Instagram, I immediately scrolled through what was, quite possibly, an obscene amount of her feed, looking at all the pretty things she makes. I was beyond excited when she was willing to do a collab with me, and so thankful that she has been so understanding about how long it took me to style her beautiful pins. I wanted an outfit that did them justice, because they are just to gorgeous to throw on top of something willy-nilly. I highly suggest that you check her out and purchase yourself (or a friend) a little something. Her prices are beyond reasonable, and you'll be supporting a lovely lady and her gorgeous art. I know a lot of the time handmade or vintage or ethically sourced items can be out of our budgets, but with these little floral gems, you can feel good about who you're supporting, your wardrobe, and your wallet all at the same time. Win-win-win. I cannot wait to style the pink clips she sent me, and as always, thank you from the bottom of my heart for following my blog. I love each and every one of you to the moon and back.

20 comments:

  1. I said 'yes' out loud more than once reading this! Your writing always shines. Thank you!

    Liana

    www.findingfemme.blogspot.com

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    1. Ah! Thank you so much! I am thrilled you were able to connect with it! Blogging often gives me a weird sense of community while also being so alone at the same time. I think it's because there aren't really any other bloggers in my area (that I know of) like me, so while I admire all these great ladies, they all seem so far away.

      Best,
      Mariah Alysz ♡

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  2. I don't know if you've ever read through GOMI before, but one of the surprising things I found while reading a thread about what annoys people in regards to fashion blogs the MOST... was those posts where bloggers get back after an absence (a short absence, like less than a month) and apologize profusely for being gone and explain away all the reasons they had for not posting. Of course, their reasoning for being annoyed was that they felt bloggers think the world revolves around them and quote "nobody cares" if the blogger was gone for a while... which I thought was rude and is also untrue (I used to apologize because I genuinely like my readers and fellow bloggers as friends and hey if I took a sudden absence from my IRL friends' lives, I'd apologize!), but that's beside my point. I took a lesson from that because it was also stated that it's YOUR blog and you can post whenever the heck you want whether it's every day or once a month or once a year. Nobody else deserves to run your time or make you feel guilty if you didn't stick to your normal three day posting schedule. And I totally agree with that.

    You definitely don't want to burn yourself out of doing what you love to do, and it's your time and your blog and your creativity and your inspiration and your LIFE... so run it how you want to run it! I no longer push myself to post on any kind of schedule because I just can't; with a newborn and a toddler, the most I can get done in a day is to choose ONE blogging task -- photos, editing, writing the post, or reading other blogs-- and get that done, so sometimes it takes me three days just to do one post. And some weeks I get out every day to take outfit photos, but that eats up all my time so then I have a huge backlog of photos and no time to write or read anything, but it's okay! Because it will rain and then I'll have lots of time to write posts while the weather is inhospitable to photography.

    So, you know; it's okay if you're gone for a while because life happens. ;) We understand and we still love you! (And I LOVE the colors in this outfit!)
    Love always
    Kristina

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    1. I have not even heard of GOMI, but that's really, really interesting. I definitely always used to apologize because I, like you, truly felt sorry for dropping off the face of the earth (although apologizing for having a life outside the internet is, in itself, quite odd). I completely agree that your blog is your life and it's whatever you (the blogger) wants.

      I also can't push blog schedules on myself any longer. I know when I started blogging I'd see other bloggers do like "Fashion Friday!" or "Tasty Tuesday" or whatever, and I thought to myself that that's what I needed to do to become successful, but it just isn't even remotely realistic for my life. And I think realizing that your life outside of blogging is equally, if not more, important is a really healthy thing to do for all of us blogging ladies (and men).

      Thank you always for your thoughtful responses and kind words

      Love Love Love,
      Mariah Alysz ♡

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  3. Your outfit is beautiful~!
    Love the bright yellow!

    Sugarcandycandy.blogspot.com

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  4. Great post! And you can be ambitious about your blog, and still take breaks now and again.
    And watching Friends seems like a good priority :-D

    http://bookwormscloset.com/

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    1. Thank you so much!
      I have now finished Friends and I am so sad. (Am I the only one that thought Rachel and Joey would have been great together?)

      Best,
      Mariah Alysz ♡

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  5. Yes yes yes !!! I feel the same! You're precious

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    1. Oh Nickhole! I love you! And thank you!

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  6. That was a very thoughtful post and thank you for writing it. I've been thinking along the same lines just today. I mean, while we have or do or make all those beautiful things that we show on the blogs, we have lives outside that --ones that we probably don't want to put on display. It's only healthy to keep some (or a lot of) personal space. I do take brakes from blogging, too, and I feel bad about that, sure I do! And I think it's crazy at the same time. It's complicated and it's hard to find a way out of it. I'm happy to hear I'm not the only person having such struggles with myself. It can sometimes seem like bloggers have no problems with blogging at all --and it can seem that way to other bloggers, too. I think we don't talk enough about it. Maybe we ought to, so that other bloggers and our readers alike can understand how this stuff really works.

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    1. I completely agree that a more open dialogue about blogging needs to be had! So much of the process seems like this giant secret; those who already have the success don't want to help you out (or want you to buy their e-course on it), and then it's just like everyone else at your level, but the barrier about blogging realness never seems to get broken. It's a weird community. I love it, but some more real talk would be really great.

      Best,
      Mariah Alysz ♡

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  7. I totally agree with your thoughts on blogging and social media! I am in the middle of a move so last week I wasn't able to do any posts and I felt so guilty! I totally thought, "Well there goes all my followers." But real life happens and we have to give ourselves a break! A good way I try to look at it is how would I treat a friend in the same situation? Would I tell them,"Your blog is totally going downhill now because you missed a few posts" or would I say "Give yourself a break! You're doing the best you can and the people who truly enjoy your blog will come back." It's obviously the second statement I would make! Anyways thanks for sharing your thoughts, I enjoyed this post and your gorgeous photos!

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment and input! It is really helpful to look at how your would treat a friend in the same situation. We are so much harder on ourselves than we need to be.

      Best,
      Mariah Alysz ♡

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  8. I am new to the blogging community but I am starting to get a little addicted. It's great to hear someone talking about it.
    By the way, I love your outfits and posted you as my latest style crush. You can check it out: http://outfitzest.blogspot.com/2015/11/style-crush-rya-pie.html

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    1. Hello there and welcome to the wonderfully strange and lovely world of blogging!
      I'm glad you liked my post. Blogging is totally addicting.
      I am so flattered you posted me as a style crush, and I am heading over to check out your blog right now!
      I wish you all the luck in your blogging life (and, you know, your regular one)

      Best,
      Mariah Alysz ♡

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  9. I am struggling with keeping up with blogging lately, and I always feel guilty about it. I feel like I'm losing my audience. I don't get as many views or comments. I feel like I'm becoming obsolete in a way, like I'm not "in" anymore or something. I can't find the proper wording at the moment. It's hard for me because I'm such a perfectionist and I want my blog to be great and the best it can be, but on the other hand, I am exhausted a lot of the time and I just want to read books (I have a goal to read 40 by the end of the year) and watch Netflix. I want to spend my weekends out, not inside editing, while the weather is still decent. I don't think people realize how hard it is to juggle work and life and with a blog and when there are people who seem like they do it flawlessly (maybe because they are the lucky few who get to do it full time), it can be frustrating and discouraging. I completely understand where you're coming from.

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    1. Oh girl! I am so sorry to hear you're in the thick of the struggle. Now that I am pregnant, I feel it more than ever as well. And the obsolete feeling makes complete sense; I often get the same exact feeling when I have long post gaps, or even if my Instagram photos don't get as many likes as they did a month ago. (Let's be real, a month ago I spent hours on my phone scrolling through tags and liking everything, so of course I got more then.)
      I send you all my love and support and think you're just gorgeous and fabulous.
      Maybe someday we will be able to just be bloggers.

      Best,
      Mariah Alysz ♡

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  10. beautiful pics, such style.....
    kiss

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