Impatient.

Friday, September 4, 2015

Sometimes I feel like I've watched my whole life go by in one string of interconnected impatient moments. Like waiting so long to finally go on a trip, those days or weeks or hours last lifetimes, while the trip itself is gone in a flash. And I must say that I am most certainly not a patient person. I am anxious. I spend vast amounts of my time daydreaming of things to come (my lunch, my future, my wedding, my plans for next week), so much so that I forget to stop and fully appreciate the moment that I am in. I am a person built completely upon lists and to-dos and statements like, "we won't have enough time," said in exasperated tones. I have tried to slow down. I got my first tattoo, the one on my wrist, partially because my most recent ex at the time said he would never find me physically attractive if I had tattoos (yes I am that defiant), but mostly to remind myself to just take a damn second to breathe and enjoy the moment. I wear a commandment on my skin and I am still bad at it. But I am actively trying to be better. Each day. And my blog is a part of that. I want to curate better content for you. I want to create a more cohesive feel with a meaning I can get behind, and yet even as I am typing this I am antsy to share some other outfit photos I took a few days after these ones. If I wasn't so OCD I would be typing this under those pictures, but I simply cannot post out of order. My brain will not allow it. Nevertheless, the message remains the same for me: appreciation, mindfulness, growth, breath, time.





::PHOTOS BY M::
MARSHALLS PANTS :: H&M TOP :: AMERICAN EAGLE JACKET :: CHARLOTTE RUSSE WEDGES :: ROCKSBOX NECKLACE :: TARTE LIPGLOSS IN FEARLESS

I've been thinking a lot about my consumerism lately. *Someone, somewhere rolls their eyes* While I most certainly am not one of those completely fabulous people who wears exclusively vintage, and honestly I don't know if I ever could be, I want to start making more of an effort to ethically, or at least mindfully, consume. As we all know, this is harder when you're broke af and living at home. Still I would like to make it a point from here on out to at least try to do more shopping locally. To buy more vintage things. To reach out to smaller companies for collaborations. Does this mean I will immediately stop shopping at Forever 21 and never set foot in there again? Probably not. But I think being more aware of my consumerism is a really good place to start. Who/what is my money supporting? I want the answer to that question to be positive, and I plan to take the steps it will take to get me closer to that.

Along the same lines, I also plan to start being choosier about who I collaborate with in this space. I'm not going to lie, when I first started getting offers for free items or what have you, I was thrilled. I was so giddy that I was accepting any and all of it like that was what was going to make me a "real" blogger. Of course nothing can make you a real blogger. Do you have a blog? Do you post on it? Congrats! You're a real blogger. I want to help support businesses I can get behind. I want to bring things like that to you guys. I hope you can get behind what I'm saying, even as you look at photos of me in a brand new AE jacket that I just had to have.

5 comments:

  1. I decided this same thing a little while ago! It's always exciting to get offers for free products or paid posts, but eventually you kind of realize that you don't HAVE to accept offers in order to be a valid blogger. And it's kind of freeing to realize that, and to tailor down who you will work with and what you accept! It was definitely a stress reliever for me to decide not to do sponsored posts as much, or accept sponsored items unless I truly like the company -- and I still occasionally work with cheap fashion, like Oasap, because I do like their products even though it's sort of fast fashion (it's basically like Forever21). But I've refused SO many other cheap fashion outlet type offers because they don't really represent who I am!

    I'm actually planning out a five-part series on blogging and blog improvement, and working with sponsors (what do you charge, how do you decide, etc) is one of the parts I want to talk about!

    Anyway. You look fantastic, and I TOTALLY relate to not being able to blog images out of sequence, haha! I am the exact same way!

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    1. Yes, yes, yes!!! There is something at first that makes you feel so legitimate about getting sponsor and collab offers that you just want to accept them all, but you are totally right that there is something so freeing about being able to just say no. Actually approaching people/stores myself has also made a huge difference in my life. Before I was way too afraid to do it, and now I'm like...omg how silly.

      I cannot wait for your blogger tips series! I think it is so great to do something like that because so many people treat it like this great secret, you know? Like they made it themselves, so you need to figure it out on your own too, or pay $28.98 for their e-course on blogging.

      ♡Mariah Alysz

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  2. I am always saying "we won't have enough time" and feel like I need to keep on schedule and leave the house by certain times on my days off. I am always feeling very scheduled and held down by time, but I think part of it is that I left myself be. I often feel like I will miss the daylight or there won't be enough time for things. It's hard to let go of that. I am a planner and have things planned months in advance. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not.

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    1. Sara, I am so just the exact same way. And it is immensely helpful in some ways...like I always get to interviews or meeting early. But it is also super stressful, which isn't good for me. I need to find some sort of balance, but it is so hard. It helps to have Michael around because he is so the opposite that he can be like, "woah. chill." and I know to step it back.
      ♡Mariah Alysz

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